Life Simplified

It's been a week. It also feels like forever. This place scares me. Not because of the harsh winter. Not because I am on my own. And definitely not because it is unlike any other place I have ever been. What scares me is that this place has this strange effect on me.. A certain pull. I feel like I might be staying longer than I first thought I would.

At the expense of being criticized for "overkill", I will confess that I was crying on the way home from work the other night. There I was a tiny speck in the universe walking along snowy hills surrounded by a vast tundra..open skies..wilderness of snow. The thought of being a part of that scene..or moment..moves me beyond anything and when I am in between being at a loss for words and overflowing with emotion I can't do anything but cry.

I love my work. Because I honor the privacy and confidentiality that surrounds my workplace I wish not to say anything more beyond that but know this for sure - when I say I love my work, these words weigh more beyond whatever form of material compensation. I just feel blessed that I have been given this opportunity to make a difference. That I get to go home at night with the peace and satisfaction that I have contributed something good and positive through what I do.

I love a lot of people- family, friends, relatives .. but I also realize that I am in a phase of my life right now where I prefer the peace and solitude that comes from being on my own. I can be in a crowded room and still feel lonely and isolated. Or I can be in this far and remote place and feel a certain connection and belongingness to everything around me. And that is what I am feeling right here right now. For the most part it might have been the work opportunity that brought me here. But after a week, I am finding the experience more as something spiritual. Like a sort of retreat. Like a time for going within. Again, words fail me now. But who was it who said..life is not meant to be written or read but meant to be lived?

I love that I am starting to establish my own little routine here. The moment I arrived I can sense the pulse, the heartbeat and the rhythm of the place and I wondered how I can inconspicuously insert my own rhythm..without disrupting the flow.. And I am proud to report that I am getting there..

I love the gears that help keep my mind off from the forces of nature and which in fact teach me to embrace these same forces as I need to live in this kind of environment anyway. I have never been the designer type of person. Unless there's a word "sale" or "clearance" attached next to the designer label but for my trip up north I had to rely on proven brands to help me get by. So I say - I love my Sorels because I have come to love my daily treks on hilly slopes. I love my north face backpack because it literally got my back, prone as I am to sliding and tripping, I love the snow pants I bought which initially drove my wallet to tears... Same can be said with my parkas (although I still have that Canada goose one on my wish list). I was walking home the other day and there was an impressive flurry in progress and all I can think of was...oh my God I love these snow goggles! All my life I have trained myself to look the other way when tempted to buy all those pretty clothes and nice shoes so I wasn't happy at first with having to buy the not necessarily cheap and not exactly becoming or flattering winter clothing but they have become my best friends here now. Yes function over fashion. That's what it's all about.

I love how my life has been simplified in the last 7 days. Even if a lot of people would argue that it's much to soon to make such conclusions. If you are living your life a day at a time there's no such thing as making conclusions too early or too late. Each day brings about a new discovery, new learning, new realization.. I might sound like I am looking at things with rose tinted snow goggles (and they are really rose tinted!) but that's how I am feeling right now on this my first week in Iqaluit. Who knows what tomorrow brings?

I guess that's it for now. Time to get ready for tonight's shift.