Hypothetical February 14 Playlist

Let it be known that next week I will be holding a record 39 years (yes sir, straight, uninterrupted, successive years) of being immune to the February 14 consumer hype of receiving (even buying) chocolates, flowers and that close to extinction things called Hallmark cards...or dinner by candlelight with a significant other and the rest of the city's (whichever city of the moment I happen to be in) hundreds of couples celebrating Valentines' Day. This statement is not laden with misery or even laced with a hint of bitterness..in fact, this occasion gives me the chance to remember that I am actually in a happy place right now (really) because I am comfortable with the thought that with or without a man in the equation - the sum total of who I am remains the same: whole. Not a half yearning for whoever it is who could make the equation complete. A lot of well meaning people in my life would be more than delighted to go out of their way to argue with my line of thinking so I would like to assure them as early as this paragraph that this post is not going to be a defensive argument on my part on the merits of being single. I promise it's about something else..still February 14 related but not quite about men or the lack thereof in my life.

Anyway, a few days back I have been telling some friends (or the thousand  or so of them in Facebook - - it's all about me remember?) that I was in this obsessive compulsive phase of trying to get my music playlist organized. So I have my new age/meditation music labelled as "Sleep". I have my 70s- early '80s essential playlist. There's my all female playlist called "Diva". I have my 90s and up playlist. I have my soft, light and easy, my folk, country and rock, my pure country. Well, you get the picture. And I don't really want to discuss or describe my playlists in detail, otherwise I would get some sound advice to get my head examined. So last night I was adding some more songs in my motown playlist (all R&B, African-American singers playlist) and some of the songs got me thinking that I might have found one minor downside of being single - - and that being the apparent absence of a..can I say this without gagging..."special someone" I can share these songs with and even to slow dance with for a bit..though heaven knows I can't dance to save my life..there's something about the rhythm of these songs that makes me believe that I can actually manage to do a slow dance. So I made this hypothetical playlist in my mind..one that I would have in a parallel universe where I am not spending February 14 alone. 

1. At Last by Etta James - I don't even need to explain. Anybody who's heard this song or even watched Mr & Mrs Obama during the Inaugural would understand why. If by crazy chance when I am in my, let's say 50s and marching down the aisle to this song I am sure more than one member of my family or circle of friends would heave a sigh of relief (even disbelief) and say the same thing - at last! I love, love this song even if my love wouldn't come along!.

2. Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye - this song spells sexy from beginning to end. There's so much soul in this piece of music that it seems to be coming from somewhere even deeper than sensual - you just don't listen to the song, you experience it! And let's face it, when it comes to make out music, nobody does it like Marvin Gaye!

3. I Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe by Barry White - aside from his deep baritone that makes any woman tingle all over..I love how the song builds momentum on the refrain - everytime you're near, I feel the change, something moves, I scream your name... love it! I know it's R&B with a little bit of disco but still a great song to (not so) slow dance to.

4. Living for the Love of You by Issley Brothers - I've loved this song for a long time but only got to hear it again when I was watching Alfie last night on cable..and it was during the scene where Jude Law as Alfie was playing pool with his best friend's girlfriend and this song started playing on the Jukebox and the girl started grooving to the song. Before the scene ended I managed to download the song from i-tunes and added it to my motown playlist. I love instant gratification!

5. Reasons by Earth, Wind and Fire - one of the few songs that make me sway on reflex. Like a hammer and knee jerk thing. Temperature's rising!

6. Sweet Baby by Stanley Clark - if I have a..ok here we go again, gag alert..special someone..I would want to play this song with him on a nice, quiet, lazy afternoon. 

7. Sweet Love by Anita Baker - one of my videoke guilty pleasure slash secret weapon..I know this song by heart..start to finish..just a little tone deaf to hit the right notes though. If I so much as sing it, fictional hubby would use it as grounds for divorce. But still one of those songs I wish I don't have to enjoy alone.

8. Fancy Pants by Max Bennett - least romantic title with lyrics that don't really make sense but the song's rhythm and Max Bennett's voice can really make you groove to the song even if there's no poetry there about somebody singing - "and she looks so cool wearing those fancy pants, she wears fancy pants for me". 

9. Lost Without You by Robin Thicke - I think this is the most contemporary item on my list. Very sultry and seductive. One of the few songs that made me lament for the longest 0.005 seconds why oh why am I still single?? Possible answer: Robin Thicke's taken.

10. Smile Again by Manhattan Transfer - there's the 0.1% optimist in me who believes I could actually play this song someday to a non fictional flesh and blood person but since I don't see that happening..not even next year when I celebrate 40 years of immunity to VD (not the disease with the same abbreviation but it goes without saying I am immune to that as well)..that doesn't stop me from loving this song and wanting to share it albeit hypothetically to a fictional object of affection.

11. I've Got You Babe by Cher and Sonny Bono - although I can very well make a playlist called Fiction and this song will be on top of the list. But based on the technical criteria I've set about listing songs I would have loved to share with a certain "you" if the "you" exists then this song made it just outside of top 10..I love it enough not to hide it in the etc etc that follows this paragraph. My only concern is that while I was maniacally organizing my music library I realized I have quite a selection of songs by Cher, Diana Ross, Barbra Streisand, Dionne Warwick and Donna Summers that for awhile there I was beginning to think, maybe I am a closet drag princess after all. Hmm...I think not..I am too drab to be drag.

I have to make myself stop right here. There's still a short list of more than a hundred songs I would love to include in this list,  like I haven't even gotten to the Roberta Flack selections yet (no, Careless Whisper is not and never will be a part of this playlist)  but I don't want to get into that compulsive mode again. I am just making an attempt to make a connection to an event that I've never been an active participant of. And the only way I can relate with matters of the heart is through the songs written about it. Having said that, I guess you don't really need to be in love to love a love song. So carry on, Happy Hearts Day!

The Art of Doing Nothing or The Couch Potato Rambles

First of all, let me start by saying I love my job. And that is not a sarcasm filled declaration. Just the plain and simple truth that I love what I am doing and I cannot imagine myself doing anything else. The thing that I don't like, however, is after squeezing and extracting all the adrenaline my body can produce to sustain me through one of those marathon worthy 12 hour shifts, I go home and crash like a junkie on withdrawal. And today's one of those days. I stepped out of the hospital torn between two extremes - extreme fulfillment and extreme exhaustion - - I dragged myself home like a zombie wearing parka, snow pants and Sorels. I didn't even notice that there's a -48C windchill until I entered the building and a neighbor kindly volunteered the information. Last thing I remembered before passing out was a segment on E channel about celebrities on rehab blaming all their health woes on exhaustion. Really. Tell me about it. Then darkness follows.


When I opened my eyes I was greeted by the bright sunlight of a clear but chilly Iqaluit afternoon. For the next how many, unrecalled minutes (could be hours, I don't know) I found myself just remaining flat in bed, staring at the window, gazing at the snow covered mountains and the occasional raven in flight. Then I came up with the perfect post crash recovery plan. Today I am going to be the ultimate, pampered, semi sedentary, well fed couch potato. Perfect! I felt like a woman on a mission! Today I will do absolutely nothing! And I will be very, very good at it! 


First item on my agenda was to replace depleted adrenaline levels with happy hormones and chemicals to bring me back to life. And my drug(s) of choice as always: caffeine, protein (in the form and structure of meat in particular) and spice. By the way, I am still on the road to self forgiveness for my self induced coffee mishap . . just because I thought it was smart cost effective planning on my part to leave my beloved Tassimo in Calgary, buy a cheap coffee maker only to arrive in Iqaluit and find the carafe shattered to coffee ground pieces and having to buy a new single cup coffee maker here that cost more than the 10 cup maker I broke. Yes, that's cost effective planning for you. But what's done is done, I had to move on, and forgive myself. After all, coffee is an essential necessity for me that comes close second to oxygen so that about justifies everything, including foolish miscalculations. So my first semblance of motion after slowly waking up from my post adrenaline crash was to make coffee. Now for a dose of spice. A couch potato sustains itself with the least, minimal amount of movement so for my spice fix, I forgot about taking the high road... I just called Yummy Shawarma for delivery - made strict specifications to make my beef shawarma extra, extra spicy with more pepper. I took extra effort to repeat my request twice. Extra extra spicy with more pepper please!  I said it with the urgency and desperation of a convict requesting his last meal.  I also tried the 2 side dishes my friend from Vegas (and Mediterranean food expert) recommended - kibbi and spinach pie. And just in case my semi immobile self suddenly feels the need for sugar rush - I ordered a slice of Blaklava and kept it within reach, on standby, ready in case of emergency.


Of course, other than the couch, a couch potato's must have accessories are a TV set and remote control. And thanks to a friendly Filipino family, I now have my own hand me down TV. The cable guys being a part of the grand design of the universe to make all things fall into place at the right time, decided to set up my TV box yesterday despite their earlier notice that they were going to be busy and they're not too sure when they can be available. So yes I have cable now. And to give myself a much needed treat, I had some channel packages included in my cable plan - including the one that gave me access to Oprah's OWN channel. And that brings me to where I am at this very moment. Happily munching a Mediterranean sandwich that is bursting with beef and hot pepper, big mug of coffee now empty and the only marathon I am doing this time is watching a succession of feel good shows from Oprah's channel. I tell myself that I am not just being a couch potato, I am a couch potato feeding a tired body and weary soul. For that I feel my well laid out plan of doing nothing is well justified!


I guess I will be in this state for the next remaining hours of the evening and well through the night. I checked the TV schedule . . and I realized that the perfect timing of my suddenly acquiring a TV set and have cable set up is in part because I have been cursed never to miss a season of American Idol. So after feeding my soul I'll step down a bit for a little taste of pop culture. I don't know if critics would forgive me for using culture in the same paragraph as American Idol but nevertheless, I am entitled to my own guilty pleasures even if it means suffering a little bit with a little dose of J Lo nonsense, Steve Tyler drunken stupor like mumbles and Randy Jackson's litany of dawgs, pitchy, not jumping up and down. 


I am particularly adverse to any form of sloth but today is an exception. I am relishing without guilt my few hours of non productivity. Will be back to work again tomorrow but for today this adrenaline junkie is on rehab, blissfully sedentary and doing nothing with utmost perfection!

Water Runs Dry

There's almost something apocalyptic about waking up on a Friday the 13th in the year 2012 with the news that a broken water pipe has caused depletion of most of the city's water supply and that the city's shutting down. As a northern newbie, I got a bit of reassurance and consolation when I read Townie Bastard's blog that this is not the first time (and I don't think it would be the last either) that the city's on a shut down for some only-in-Iqaluit reasons.


Anyway, so it's business unusual today in Iqaluit. Actually it all started late last night. I came home from an overtime shift, had late dinner and after several minutes of lying leisurely like a lazy cat on the couch I finally convinced myself it's time to wash the dishes. And that's when I realized there's no water.


 A little confession before I proceed. I have this little neurosis that I have been trying suppress for the longest time. It's a sort of "Truman Show" or the-universe-revolves-around-me-but-in-a-bad-way type of paranoia wherein if bad things happen, it's only happening to me or it's happening because of me. This is one reason why I always struggle to maintain a positive attitude because the alternative is me feeding on this neurosis. The rose tinted glasses I always wear? They are prescribed treatment  for an otherwise severely dark, gloomy tunnel vision. I remember when I was little my mother was the main lead of a local production of A Portrait of the Artist as Filipino, a play that mostly centered on the Marasigan spinster sisters, Paula and Candida, who used to belong to an affluent family but had to make both ends meet post war. My mother played the role of Paula and I used to go with her during all her rehearsals that I almost memorized all her lines. There was this scene though that I would never forget because it somehow mirrors my own neurosis and paranoia. So there was this blackout scene and the sisters, Paula and Candida broke into melodramatic rantings and crying thinking that the electricity was cut off because they were not able to pay their bills..so they were exchanging lines back and forth about the shame, what will their neighbors say, the misery of being poor, what to do next etc etc..and in the end when they looked out of their window they realized the whole town had no lights - it was, after all a town-wide black out and they started laughing hysterically at themselves. That's how I felt initially when I realized last night that there's no water. I had a Marasigan sister moment there. Like this is only happening to me or because of me. Good thing I had enough sense to call the city's after hours emergency number .. and a very harassed sounding lady told me that there's no water in 6th storey, 8th storey, Apex and other locations but they are trying to fix the problem. I guess I must have been her 100th caller in the last hour judging from the sound of her voice - but to her credit she managed to answer the phone after 3 rings and even exerted extra effort to sound nice. So I went to sleep last night not knowing the full story. All I know is that there was a problem and it was being fixed. I had water themed dreams. I was in a resort with different kinds of swimming pool - hot water, cold water, pool with giant slide and a weird dirty pool with lots of algae and floating stuff.


When I woke up, first thing I did was check the faucet. Still no water. I went back to bed and thought about all my water related activities for the day - the laundry I had to do, the dishes from last night that I didn't get to wash, taking a bath, using the toilet, my daily dose of caffeine. Around 90% of the things I need to do today has something to do with water. This is too cliche but it has to be said - you don't know what you've got til it's gone. I have to admit that I am not the biggest environmentalist. I mean I know all the issues and I sympathize with the many causes but I don't really go out of my way to preserve the environment the way other people do.  I went downstairs to buy some bottled water and that's when I learned about the water pipe bursting last night. I bought my initial supply of four bottles of water and a cup of coffee hoping this would be enough until things get fixed but when I went upstairs to check on the news, I found out that the reservoir was depleted as well. I think it must be the Filipino in me but I immediately went into panic buying mode without even analyzing beyond my must-have-water thoughts. I went to the convenient store downstairs again and added a few more bottled water, microwavable food that doesn't require water or use of utensils and a few cans of pop - yes this is panic buying for a single woman, once again I am thankful that my circumstances in life make me immune to other concerns like milk formula and diapers. The nice lady who manages the convenient store was kind enough to lend me her grocery cart but since it was Friday the 13th, I didn't really get that lucky. The elevator wasn't working and appears to be stuck on the 2nd floor. I said to myself, no way I am taking the stairs with all these stuff! I stubbornly stood in front of the elevator and glared at it as if I can will it to open with dagger looks. Luck just wasn't the word for the day unless you affix it with un- so I took the stairs. Did I ever mention I live in the 6th floor? 


While I was trying to soothe my nerves with the mix sushi lunch I bought at the cafe downstairs, I decided to update myself with the goings on in the city. There was an advisory not to use water unless absolutely necessary. That made me think about what "necessary use of water means". So I have to go without doing my laundry today. I am not a big fan of water as a drink but I am thinking about my daily dose of caffeine, my bath, the need to use the toilet and other things that are not really directly water related but to some extent need water. My musings were interrupted when the fire alarm sounded off at the entire building. I was not even surprised that it did. After all the series of unfortunate events on this Friday the 13th, I was half expecting something like that to happen. Took the stairs again and by the time I reached the main floor the alarm stopped and I had to go back to my apartment again. At least with the few minutes I spent mingling with the not too happy neighbors, I got to hear the good news that we have water again. Elevator still not working though and once again I had to take the stairs. For awhile there I was tempted to look for a video camera hidden somewhere a la Truman Show.


I checked the advisory again. Water's back but reservoir still depleted, everyone still urged to conserve water. From Townie Bastard's blog I found out that there's an Iqaluit Public Service Announcement site on Facebook so I asked to join the group. And I have to say I have to admire the mayor here for being so involved with what's going on. I mean, I know it's her job to be involved but there's a sense there of going the extra mile. There's water again although we are all advised to conserve. With caution I washed the dishes, took a bath, forget about the laundry. Life goes on as usual. I stared at the how many bottles of mineral water I bought. I asked myself how it would be like if this water-less state lasted for a longer time. I am thankful it was not electricity or heating that was damaged. Glad that it's my day off. But still..a lot of things made me think today. And I am not just talking about apocalyptic signs of the times or scientific basis for Friday the 3th bad luck.