The Art of Letting Go

I am such a hoarder. I should be in that Hoarders reality TV show. I guess I've known this for a long time but when it comes to defense mechanisms, I specialize in denial. Now here I am being confronted with the awful truth - I am such a hoarder. Yes I should be on TV.


For the past few days I have been in the sorting, packing, throwing away phase of my journey. Let it be known that this is the part I like the least. No, that's putting it mildly. It's the part that I truly detest. The packing part I have subdivided into 3 - stuff to bring, stuff to send back home (yes, Philippines) and stuff to give to people who might find my stuff useful enough. The stuff to bring part is easy - if I could bring everything I would! But I have to remind myself that I am going to Iqaluit. Like, do I really need to bring this swim suit that I haven't even dared to wear here in Calgary? My heart was bleeding when a favorite fluffy blouse had to go to either the send home or give away box.  I remember when I was little there was this heart tugging, tear jerker of a movie called, "All Mine to Give", where a mom had to give away her (I forgot how many) kids because (again I forgot) she was either dying or very poor. Anyway, that's sort of how I am feeling right now. So with much effort I had to turn off my emotional and sentimental button.


Don't even get me started with the throwing away part. I could not believe and I have to repeat that, I could not believe that despite the four address changes in three years I have managed to bring along with me garbage dating back from when I first arrived! No, that's a lie. The truth is I have even managed to bring along garbage dating back from when I was still in the Philippines! No kidding! I have three full big garbage bags in my room right now that I need to throw away! Enough said.


When I was reading  the blogs of people who chose to go up north, most of them agreed that it is a life changing experience. I haven't even left Calgary yet but I already understand what they mean. I know there seems to be a lot of drama involved in my throwing and packing phase but I am also thinking what a liberating experience this is . . to just let go - throw or give away..to just go back to the basics - what do I really need to bring? Life simplified. For the first time I am actually going to travel light! And I am not talking about luggage weight..I just mean, I'll be leaving minus all the trappings! If anything, Nunavut's my cure from an imminent bad case of hoarding addiction!


So much for that. There's work to be done.