The Art of Doing Nothing or The Couch Potato Rambles

First of all, let me start by saying I love my job. And that is not a sarcasm filled declaration. Just the plain and simple truth that I love what I am doing and I cannot imagine myself doing anything else. The thing that I don't like, however, is after squeezing and extracting all the adrenaline my body can produce to sustain me through one of those marathon worthy 12 hour shifts, I go home and crash like a junkie on withdrawal. And today's one of those days. I stepped out of the hospital torn between two extremes - extreme fulfillment and extreme exhaustion - - I dragged myself home like a zombie wearing parka, snow pants and Sorels. I didn't even notice that there's a -48C windchill until I entered the building and a neighbor kindly volunteered the information. Last thing I remembered before passing out was a segment on E channel about celebrities on rehab blaming all their health woes on exhaustion. Really. Tell me about it. Then darkness follows.


When I opened my eyes I was greeted by the bright sunlight of a clear but chilly Iqaluit afternoon. For the next how many, unrecalled minutes (could be hours, I don't know) I found myself just remaining flat in bed, staring at the window, gazing at the snow covered mountains and the occasional raven in flight. Then I came up with the perfect post crash recovery plan. Today I am going to be the ultimate, pampered, semi sedentary, well fed couch potato. Perfect! I felt like a woman on a mission! Today I will do absolutely nothing! And I will be very, very good at it! 


First item on my agenda was to replace depleted adrenaline levels with happy hormones and chemicals to bring me back to life. And my drug(s) of choice as always: caffeine, protein (in the form and structure of meat in particular) and spice. By the way, I am still on the road to self forgiveness for my self induced coffee mishap . . just because I thought it was smart cost effective planning on my part to leave my beloved Tassimo in Calgary, buy a cheap coffee maker only to arrive in Iqaluit and find the carafe shattered to coffee ground pieces and having to buy a new single cup coffee maker here that cost more than the 10 cup maker I broke. Yes, that's cost effective planning for you. But what's done is done, I had to move on, and forgive myself. After all, coffee is an essential necessity for me that comes close second to oxygen so that about justifies everything, including foolish miscalculations. So my first semblance of motion after slowly waking up from my post adrenaline crash was to make coffee. Now for a dose of spice. A couch potato sustains itself with the least, minimal amount of movement so for my spice fix, I forgot about taking the high road... I just called Yummy Shawarma for delivery - made strict specifications to make my beef shawarma extra, extra spicy with more pepper. I took extra effort to repeat my request twice. Extra extra spicy with more pepper please!  I said it with the urgency and desperation of a convict requesting his last meal.  I also tried the 2 side dishes my friend from Vegas (and Mediterranean food expert) recommended - kibbi and spinach pie. And just in case my semi immobile self suddenly feels the need for sugar rush - I ordered a slice of Blaklava and kept it within reach, on standby, ready in case of emergency.


Of course, other than the couch, a couch potato's must have accessories are a TV set and remote control. And thanks to a friendly Filipino family, I now have my own hand me down TV. The cable guys being a part of the grand design of the universe to make all things fall into place at the right time, decided to set up my TV box yesterday despite their earlier notice that they were going to be busy and they're not too sure when they can be available. So yes I have cable now. And to give myself a much needed treat, I had some channel packages included in my cable plan - including the one that gave me access to Oprah's OWN channel. And that brings me to where I am at this very moment. Happily munching a Mediterranean sandwich that is bursting with beef and hot pepper, big mug of coffee now empty and the only marathon I am doing this time is watching a succession of feel good shows from Oprah's channel. I tell myself that I am not just being a couch potato, I am a couch potato feeding a tired body and weary soul. For that I feel my well laid out plan of doing nothing is well justified!


I guess I will be in this state for the next remaining hours of the evening and well through the night. I checked the TV schedule . . and I realized that the perfect timing of my suddenly acquiring a TV set and have cable set up is in part because I have been cursed never to miss a season of American Idol. So after feeding my soul I'll step down a bit for a little taste of pop culture. I don't know if critics would forgive me for using culture in the same paragraph as American Idol but nevertheless, I am entitled to my own guilty pleasures even if it means suffering a little bit with a little dose of J Lo nonsense, Steve Tyler drunken stupor like mumbles and Randy Jackson's litany of dawgs, pitchy, not jumping up and down. 


I am particularly adverse to any form of sloth but today is an exception. I am relishing without guilt my few hours of non productivity. Will be back to work again tomorrow but for today this adrenaline junkie is on rehab, blissfully sedentary and doing nothing with utmost perfection!